Mar 9, 2009
Hello E Journal
I know that this is a crazy new thing, but I thought "well, since I can't seem to keep in touch with the real world maybe this will help...." Think again. My friend Mike set this up for me over a week ago and I am just now writing on it, however, it is a goal to try and update more than I write emails. :)
So....as some of you might know, I was in Denver doing a school called a Phase II-this is a leadership training school to help people in their ministry or thinking of going into the ministry. My original intention was to go to this school and then head out to the waterlogged state of Hawaii, which is where I was for about six months last year. However, God changed the plans and sent me on a trip with seven wonderful people across the United States presenting youth groups with ways to get involved and not wait until they are adults.
We told them about how much God loves them and then about YWAM Denver and different organizations like Love146 (an organization that pulls young girls out of prostitution in Asian countries) and things like Habitat for Humanity and Big Brother/Big Sister, and Salvation Army. Places where they are forced to give up for just a smidgen of their lives and focus on others for a tiny bit of time and reach out to share God's love to their mission around them.
After finishing this trip, I headed back home not sure where to go from there. I have since had a birthday and now define myself (in my state of self-pity that is) to a jobless, homeless, useless 24 year old that has a degree and can't get a job. Which is crazy because God has totally provided for me in these last few weeks. I have had little odd jobs from friends and neighbors and my chruch that has provided me with enough to live on (thanks to the free room and board I recieve from my parents) and get to go visit friends who live not too far away.
When I finished my school, I asked God for a word in my life and some direction on where He wanted me to go, and this is what He gave me "Delight yourself in me..." If you are familiar with scripture, the rest of the scripture says "and He will give you the desires of your heart" so I asked Him about the second part (because biology has kicked in and although I am not desperate, I would soon like to be married or at least have a boyfriend). So I came home with that thought in mind, but it didn't last but a week. I have fallen into a rut you see and so when I was "yelling" at God last week about how He needed to provide answers for my life and I got nothing, I wondered what I was going to do. It is a good thing God speaks, even when we are not looking for it because yesterday at church when the pastor was talking, he mentioned something about souls and winning souls and then later there was a man who gave a testimony about being a spiritual being having human experiences and I thought "Wow.....I am a selfish BRAT." And you may think that is harsh, but God simply said to me, "Since when have souls been a priority and not what I want you to do with your life?"
OUCH! But He is right....I have been so caught up in meeeeeeee that I haven't looked around to see what is right in front of my face. There are people right here in Bolivar Missouri that are dying because they don't know about a God who loves them. They don't know that there is a fight going on to keep them in ignorance of a God who loves them and my priorities have been about me and what God can do for me.
So keep praying for those of you who are praying.....God will reveal His next step in time, but until then I need some patience and perspective on what is really important in life.
So....as some of you might know, I was in Denver doing a school called a Phase II-this is a leadership training school to help people in their ministry or thinking of going into the ministry. My original intention was to go to this school and then head out to the waterlogged state of Hawaii, which is where I was for about six months last year. However, God changed the plans and sent me on a trip with seven wonderful people across the United States presenting youth groups with ways to get involved and not wait until they are adults.
We told them about how much God loves them and then about YWAM Denver and different organizations like Love146 (an organization that pulls young girls out of prostitution in Asian countries) and things like Habitat for Humanity and Big Brother/Big Sister, and Salvation Army. Places where they are forced to give up for just a smidgen of their lives and focus on others for a tiny bit of time and reach out to share God's love to their mission around them.
After finishing this trip, I headed back home not sure where to go from there. I have since had a birthday and now define myself (in my state of self-pity that is) to a jobless, homeless, useless 24 year old that has a degree and can't get a job. Which is crazy because God has totally provided for me in these last few weeks. I have had little odd jobs from friends and neighbors and my chruch that has provided me with enough to live on (thanks to the free room and board I recieve from my parents) and get to go visit friends who live not too far away.
When I finished my school, I asked God for a word in my life and some direction on where He wanted me to go, and this is what He gave me "Delight yourself in me..." If you are familiar with scripture, the rest of the scripture says "and He will give you the desires of your heart" so I asked Him about the second part (because biology has kicked in and although I am not desperate, I would soon like to be married or at least have a boyfriend). So I came home with that thought in mind, but it didn't last but a week. I have fallen into a rut you see and so when I was "yelling" at God last week about how He needed to provide answers for my life and I got nothing, I wondered what I was going to do. It is a good thing God speaks, even when we are not looking for it because yesterday at church when the pastor was talking, he mentioned something about souls and winning souls and then later there was a man who gave a testimony about being a spiritual being having human experiences and I thought "Wow.....I am a selfish BRAT." And you may think that is harsh, but God simply said to me, "Since when have souls been a priority and not what I want you to do with your life?"
OUCH! But He is right....I have been so caught up in meeeeeeee that I haven't looked around to see what is right in front of my face. There are people right here in Bolivar Missouri that are dying because they don't know about a God who loves them. They don't know that there is a fight going on to keep them in ignorance of a God who loves them and my priorities have been about me and what God can do for me.
So keep praying for those of you who are praying.....God will reveal His next step in time, but until then I need some patience and perspective on what is really important in life.
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